|"I need a new job." By Exploding Dog.|
With a tear in my eye and a pep in my step I'm saying goodbye to my current employment as an Executive/Marketing Assistant (read: Office Nanny).
It's been real, guys. But honestly:
You underpaid and overworked me. Getting to work with some really cool people mostly made up for that shortcoming (the free pizza and candy helped too).
But, constantly praising me and handing out warm fuzzies only gets you so far; I need to shake that money maker.
If I'd gotten that raise you promised me six months ago, I wouldn't have even considered leaving, but then of course, I might not have tried this new, shinier doorknob (which opened into a new, shinier job).
So, no hard feelings. All things considered, you're one of the best employers I've had, but I've met a younger, prettier hen. One who has both eyes and clean feathers. And none of that crusty mucus on her beak (you should really get that checked out). This rooster's moving on.
I've accepted a full-time Graphic Design position with benefits and a salary, and the opportunity to actually do something that interests me. So, if that doesn't make me a grown up, I don't know what will.
Hasta la pasta, Babies.