Friday, December 10, 2010

Saddam Hussein will make an excellent mommy to your suckling babe.

Is there anything we love more than talking and thinking about ourselves? Feeding, comforting, pampering, educating, entertaining, and understanding ourselves are also high on the list.

So, when online quizzes offer us an opportunity to spend ten minutes introspectively measuring ourselves, in addition to the promise of great insight as to exactly which Harry Potter character we would be, or which animal is our kindred spirit, we eat it up.

Now, I generally put about as much stock into personality tests as I would the paper place-mat in a Chinese restaurant that advises me to "marry a Monkey or a Rat late in life." But, I know they can be fun, and I guess some psychologists have actually spent their careers attempting to make accurate, and useful personality tests with the goal of helping us, I don't know, weed out bad employment applicants?

If you've ever heard of the Myers-Briggs personality test, then you know it's a thing. It's been around for a while and people who wear more expensive clothing than I say it's valid and important. I was made to take it as part of my 8th grade "Human Wellness" (read: sex ed) class, and I took it again recently for fun. Apparently I haven't changed in the past decade because I got the same result: ENF with a 50/50 smattering of P and J. (Learn what these results mean here.)

The reason I bring all this up is, of course, self-centered because I just have to brag that Ryan and I are apparently a match made in sociological heaven. According to, my ideal partner is an INTJ personality, which Ryan just happens to be.

Darn you, Science. How did you know?

So, my dear friends,  I am extremely curious to know what your Myers-Briggs type is and if married, whether you and your spouse were as destined for each other as Ryan and me. If you have nothing better to do, take the quiz here, determine your "ideal" partner type here (bottom of the page), and then share!  I will accordingly unfriend you if I feel your personality type does not mesh well with mine. (Kidding. Please. You're so sensitive. Stop crying.)

Here are a few quizzes I'm hoping somebody will invent soon so I can get that final dose of masturbatory narcissism I need to really reach the plain of self-comprehensive Nirvana: 

"Which type of farm-ville addict are you?"

"What song will you dance to at your 5th wedding?"

"How well would you have gotten along with Genghis Khan?"
"What does your favorite flavor of Starburst say about your soul-mate?"

"What would your Warrior Cat name be?"  (Lionpaw, Leopardspear, Dragontrail, Shadowclaw etc. Personally, I think mine's Firefox).

"Which of your irredeemable character flaws will ultimately ruin your chances of finding true happiness?"

"Which of Edward Cullen's sparkly nipples are you?" (I'm definitely a righty)

"How will you be discovered?!? (by homicide detectives)" (Prone, supine, in garbage bags, under a bridge, hanging in a tree, etc)

"Which notorious war criminal will bear your babies?"

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