Omnivores Limited

When I discovered this list of "100 foods every good omnivore should try at least once in their life", I thought it would be fun to share with the kin-folk in an group email. As I should have anticipated, it quickly turned into a competition, as things among siblings often do.

My brother, David created a shared Google Docs spreadsheet to track how many of the 100 foods each family member had tried, compared to each other. The battle lines had been drawn, and the contest to see who would reign supreme in the kingdom of omnivores had begun.

From the get go my mom was the far and away leader, having already tried over 60 of the 100 items. David and my Dad were vying for second place, and the rest of us were pretty far behind. But, visiting family in the Seattle area over the holidays gave us the time and opportunity to make some progress on the list, especially since international foods are more available there than where we live in Utah.

Ryan's brother, Shaun, just happened to have purchased some scotch bonnet peppers a few days before we arrived, which was one item on the list I hadn't planned on facing so soon. But, seeing them in the fridge, I knew the time had come:

The face of true fear.

The raw scotch bonnet pepper (Ryan and I ate one whole pepper each) was just about as hot as I had imagined it might be. At first it tasted like green bell pepper, but it quickly turned into the kind of spicy that registers not as flavor but as searing chemical pain. Scotch Bonnet peppers typically score between 100,000 and 350,000 units on the Scoville scale. For comparison, Jalepenos are between 2,500 and 8,000, but it seems like the numbers are irrelevant at that scale. It might as well have been 100 million Scoville units; I can't imagine the feeling of burning being any less bearable. And of course, just one pepper made me visibly sweat.

I really wish I would've taken a video of Ryan sticking his entire head in the kitchen sink under running water, but I obviously did not have the presence of mind to pull out my camera, as I was doubled over in spicy agony as well. Four glasses of chocolate milk and 20 minutes later, my lips were still numb, but I wasn't in pain. Victory.

Here are some other items that one or both of us tried for the first time over Christmas: 

Borscht

Eggs Benedict.
(Ryan declared that he would eat this for breakfast
every day if he could, as would I)

Steamed Pork Buns. Delicious

Hum Bao (pork buns) at Capitol Market in Olympia.

Stining Nettle Tea (doesn't sting, just tastes kind of like
hay smells. Not bad with a little honey)

 Carob chip cookies - which tasted about as good
as this picture looks (which is to say, not very. )

Things were going well, we thought. We were having fun trying new foods, some delicious and others not as good. Even the pepper was within my expectations. Everything changed when we met this spiky, malodorous, horrible fruit. Durian:

The spikes should have been a warning.

I could try to describe the horrible, acrid, stench and flavor of this fruit, but I doubt I'd have the words. It brought to mind onion, gym socks, mango, and gasoline, but none of those is quite the right descriptor. Needless to say, we were barely able to force ourselves to fight through the gagging and eat a few bites of this fruit.

If that weren't bad enough, the stench lingered in the entire house and the flavor stayed with me for the rest of the night. It also made Ryan burp noxious durian fumes for hours afterward. I walked away from this challenge not so much with a feeling of victory, but one of complete regret.

It took nearly six weeks for us to recover from the durian and be willing to try another unknown mystery food on the list.  But, we knew the worst of it had to be behind us, and next up on the list was Indian food, which didn't sound so bad, so we forged forward.

I had to call around several places to find a restaurant that served Aloo Gobi. When I found one, I was hoping they might also serve two other items we wanted to try: Salt Lassi and Phaal. They did not. I inquired with the waiter anyway, and he brought the owner to our table. I asked if they could please make us Phaal and Salt Lassi even though it wasn't on the menu. He blinked and asked "Are you sure? Phaal is very very hot, and the lassi is not sweet." We insisted, he shrugged, and in his great Punjabi accent:   "Okay. Why not. But no sending back."

Salt Lassi at India Palace in Provo. 

Ryan's review: "It tastes like a milky ocean."

 The Aloo Gobi was just tasty veggies in curry sauce. Nothing to be scared of.  The Phaal on the other hand was a little intimidating.  When the owner brought it out, even the smell was enough to burn the nostrils a little. But, we figured nothing could be worse than raw scotch bonnet pepper, and it turns out we were right.

It was hot, don't get me wrong, and the requirement to eat an entire dish of it was pretty daunting (at least the scotch bonnet pepper was over after a couple bites). But with enough naan and water, we finished the entire plate of lamb phaal. Left us sweating, but not crying.

Ryan stares down his nemesis: Phaal.
(on the left, extra chili sauce, which we slathered
on to make sure it was as hot as it could be.)

A couple weeks later, coming home from a trip to Salt Lake City, we noticed a sign for "ALL U CAN EAT SUSHI & BUFFET $6" at the Lotus Garden. The price probably should have been a red flag, but after learning that they did in fact serve eel meat, we forged on, bound by our need to mark it off the list.

In hindsight, I completely agree with the single person who has reviewed this restaurant on yelp.com: cleanliness at this establishment did not seem to be a top priority. From floaties in the water, to grimy-looking buffet dishes, we were not enticed to ever revisit Lotus Garden. But, I have eaten worse-tasting Asian food and Ryan got to try some eel nigiri for the first time.

His review: "Mnmm. Tastes like tuna. Are you going to eat that crab wonton?"

Just last weekend we had another chance to knock a few things off the list, at Siegfried's Delicatessen in Salt Lake, which we discovered at the suggestion of a helpful Starbucks barista.

There, we were able to find not only blood sausage, but head cheese, goulash, spaetzle, and currywurst. Five items off the list in one go! We were pretty excited.

Head cheese. Yum!

Blood sausage (left), head cheese (right)

The blood sausage tasted like salami with a heavy dose of iron. It was tolerable as long as you tried really hard not to think about what you were eating. The head cheese on the other hand was quite delicious. Just chunks of pork in some kind of pork jelly.

I'd like to apologize for everything about this video. It's lame. See for yourself.

Goulash with Spaeztle
 

Currywurst Mix with Knackwurst Sausage

Currywurst

Curry wurst.

Tom Yum Soup at Spicy Thai in Provo. Note the sweet 6' tall carved elephant.

Bottoms up!

 

 Out of respect for the origin and history of these foods, I knew it would be unfair to simply look up a recipe online for something I had never tried and expect it to come out tasting like the real thing. So when it came to baba ganoush, I faithfully followed the recipe, shopping, and serving instructions of my Egyptian Arabic teacher, Salima (in part: "Begin with a bathenjan [egg plant] that's firmer than sharihat al hum moutboha [well-done steak]").

Baba Ganoush with olive-oil toasted challah.

It turned out even tastier than sharihat al hum moutboha! Thank you, Salima, wherever you are . I would totally give you a Mubarak-stepped-down high five right now.

Shaun came all the way from WA to eat baba ganoush with us in Provo (I assume).

On Saturday, the owner of Amano Artisan Chocolate in Orem was nice enough to let us sample a variety of chocolates made from cocao beans which he personally sourced from villages all over South America. It was very educational. But even more tasty.

Each box of chocolates comes with individual tasting guides, explaining how to get the most out of that particular bean, with suggested pairings and flavor notes to hunt for. (Is this one a plumb/blueberry/coffee or more of an almond/apple/yeast flavor?) Who knew chocolate could have all the pretension of perfume and fine wine?

Tasting Guide step 1: smell the chocolate.

We went home with some chocolate made from Chuao beans, which are apparently among the most coveted on earth. This cocao harvesting village of Chuao is so remote it can only be accessed by boat, and only during certain times of the year, when the water levels are just so. Who knew? Good chocolate though.

It's been an adventure, and we still have a long ways to go, but as of this posting, Ryan is now in second place in our family. He's tried over 62% of the items, so he's just behind my mom. I'm pulling up third place. Go us!

The list (stricken are the items I personally wouldn't try because of religious preference):

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo 40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut 50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu or shaojiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
 92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Build it like Bekvam.

I like our apartment pretty well, but the kitchen is not its selling point. Calling it an "alley kitchen" would be something of an exaggeration in its favor. In fact, I'm not sure  it can even technically be called a "kitchen" because it is missing one essential element of kithcendom: counters.

I'm not saying "Wah wah, there isn't much counter space." I mean, it literally doesn't have a counter to speak of. The one-foot-across surface between the sink and the stove is the closest we get.

This has led to many meals being prepared on a cutting board placed over the sink, and more than a few dinners served on a dining room table that is covered in mixing bowls and frying pans. It's not that our kitchen is tiny; it's not. There is plenty of room where a counter and more cabinets would've been ideal. (Ran out of time and money, maybe?)

So, we finally purchased a kitchen cart/butcher block.  In the tradition of IKEA, it is called something meaningless to English speakers: "Bekvam."  This rolls off the tongue more easily than "kitchen-cart-slash-butcher-block", so that's what we call it.  This device has improved our overall kitchen satisfaction immensely.

In the other tradition of IKEA, it had to be assembled by a husband.

I wouldn't say that we're oddly fond of it, but the phrase "Who's a good Bekvam? Yes you are!" is no longer among phrases that have never been spoken our home.

To address the other main flaw of our kitchen: lack of cabinetry, Ryan installed a shelf.  He thrifted it, fixed it up, installed some hooks, and mounted it on the wall.

Before:

"I'm trying so hard. Please love me. Here is your trashcan."  - Our Kitchen

After:

"I'm a REAL Kitchen Now! "

Shmalentime's

Say what you will about Valentine's day, but I never turn down a chance to get a new cavity.

Personally, I see it as a fun, low-key holiday. He gets me a rose (or not), I bake him cookies (or not), and everyone goes home happy. Growing up, we always celebrated it as a family, made valentines for each other, and had a gay old time. It's too bad that such a simple, fun idea as Valentine's day has to result in bad feelings and disappointment for millions of housewives, and loneliness for single folk (who are even more bitter  than the disappointed housewives.)

It just doesn't need to be that big of a deal!

But, I had to make dinner anyway, so why not do something special? In considering how to best gastronomically express my love, I remembered that there was shrimp in the freezer, and salmon. "I think there's even a couple sirloin steaks in there!" I thought "Maybe some pommes maxim and raspberry flan?!"


As I was getting carried away, I briefly considered Ryan and realized I was barking up the wrong tree.  Duh. Nothing would make him happier after a long day of studying and working than homemade pizza. So, I busted out the linens, canldesticks, champagne glasses, and pizza stone.

Pizza with Ina Garten's Cheese Straws

Despite being at school all day and taking a test until 9 pm, he still managed to bring home my favorite ice cream and some Swedish Fish, which I preferred 100 fold over anything resembling a bear. Hallmark-inflicted duty mutually fulfilled.

The Continental US is the landmass I most resent (for trying to keep us apart).

Maybe it doesn't seem so miraculous in the information age, but I still  think it's pretty cool that people from opposite sides of the country, or the world, can actually get together and live happily ever after.

With Ryan being from Washington state, and me from the Washington, D.C. area, I'm pretty grateful for modern transportation  and communication. Come to think of it, I'm also grateful for this great nation that gives us the freedom to use them as we please (Hey, I said I resent the landmass, not the country).

So, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I made this illustration to adorn our transcontinental hearth: 

A Case for Jewelry

My jewelry storage situation has been getting out of control recently:

Tangled octopi of necklaces

Mountains of unruly adornments

 

Things were getting desperate.

The biggest offenders were my earrings. Maybe it's because I only got my ears pierced three years ago and didn't grow up learning how to care for them, but I have always been at a loss.  I've tried keeping them on jar rims, poking them into ribbons, and sticking them in cardboard pieces, but they were always getting tangled and broken. I had finally had enough. Necessity bred this solution:

Nylon stockings over an empty frame.

Secured with  staples and hot glue. Two layers.

I cut the lining from an assorted chocolates box to fit this clamshell box.
Now it neatly holds pins, pendants, and charms.

The finished nylon-backed frame.

 A similar invention for necklaces:
Paper-covered cardboard in an empty frame.

Not exactly fine art, but at least the jewelry
is off the counter/carpet/dresser tops.

Ta-Da!

From The Archives: Mexican Riveria Cruise, Summer 2009

We were late adopters of the whole "web logging" thing, so I feel the need to go back and share some of memories we've been collecting in our  (almost) three years of marriage. These posts will be titled "From The Archives" so you can easily identify and skip them. Enjoy!

As a graduation present from my incredibly generous parents, we got to go on a cruise! We had planned to go immediately after my graduation in April of 2009, but that whole swine flu scare  (yeah, remember that?) messed things up. Carnival, instead of cancelling our cruise to Mexico, just told us one week before we were supposed to leave that it had been 'rerouted' to Canada.

Great! Instead of warm, beautiful Mexico, we can go spend a week on the freezing coast of CANADA! No offense to Canada (I'm kidding - definitely offense to Canada), it's not the tropical get away we had in mind. But, after several long hold-times and conversations with "vacationers service" (Carnival's adorable answer to "customer service"), we were able to reschedule for August and go to our original destinations:  Porta Vallarta. Mazatlan,  and Cabo. Yippee!

It was a very full week of eating, relaxing and playing. We tried to keep a balance of having fun and just doing nothing. (We even hit up the gym a couple times to keep energized. I have to say the ocean sunrise was a more inspiring view than I've ever seen on a gym television.)

Of all the good food we had, this Molten Chocolate Cake
was the item we had to order with every meal.

When it came to the meals in the dining room, I'm not going to say the food was all Michelin-star worthy, but the service was top-notch, and the food definitely better than I've been served in some restaurants.  Our favorite meals came not from the formal dining room, but the  sushi bar, the tepanyaki, the seafood/steak grill, and the various buffets on the seven decks of the ship.  And of course, everything was complimentary, including the fully-stocked sundae bar.

A new cute towel animal in our cabin every day!
We had a monkey, a parrot, a dog, a rabbit and this little humanoid.

Overall, we were impressed by how comfortably the ship and staff accommodated over three thousand people all week long. Our days aboard the ship were just as enjoyable as our days on shore.

Our favorite excursion was in Porto Vallarta where took a speed boat (pictured), then a jeep, and finally a donkey to get to the top of the Sierra Madre mountains. From there, we repelled down a 100 ft waterfall and and ziplined at 50 MPH down to the other side of the mountain where we enjoyed a delcious lunch on the beach.

We were so dirty after the ziplining that we washed up public
fountain. (Hey, other people were doing it too.)

In Porto Vallarta, we saw a couple kissing parrots. Cute.

This is our cabin. Very cozy. We were just grateful to have our own bathroom.

Not sure if I've ever felt whiter than when we took this picture in Mazatlan.

These next three pictures capture a lowlight of the trip:

Ryan entering the water in Mazatlan. Note the glasses on his face, where they belong.

Returning from the water moments later, longingly
looking back for any sign of his glasses.

Resigned to having lost them, a picture of discouragement.

After a wave knocked the glasses off Ryan's unwise face, I purchased some goggles from a passing beach vendor and swam around, looking for them. The surf was pretty clam so I thought there was a chance of finding them, but the water was so murky that I couldn't see a thing. We went to a local mega-mart with an optomotrist,  but they said it would take six hours to make him new ones.

With only an hour before the ship set sail, Ryan had to return to the ship mostly blind. We cancelled the scuba excursion we had planned for the next day since Ryan wouldn't have been able to see a single fish.  He squinted for the last three days of the cruise, which I found pretty amusing.

Free room service! A delicious pairing for whatever junkfood
movie was on HBO that night. Something with Jennifer Aniston.

Day 6, Cabo San Lucas



Ryan pointing to my tiny floating head.

 

Cabo had the best beach of the cities we visited. White sand,
clear water and amazing snorkeling.  (The fish were so close
that even Ryan could see them a little bit)  

(More brilliant than they appear. Bluish purple).

With our Scuba trip cancelled, we had a chance to tour the city and do a little window shopping. I didn't expect to get anything, but Ryan insisted on spoiling me with these beautiful tanzanite earrings and necklace.

 Apart from the stone, the best thing about this necklace is its versatility.
It's  sterling silver on one side, 18k gold on the other so I can
wear it with a bunch of different pendants (and I do)

Back on the top deck of the ship, we played
some mini golf. Ryan won by two strokes.

Waterslide!

Towel Monkey hanging from the ceiling of our cabin.
(Note Ryan squinting to look at it without his glasses)

Our last night on the ship was  "Formal Night", and we
were a little unprepared. Ryan didn't even have a coat!
Oh well, at least we weren't wearing sneakers like some folks.

Each night there was a plethora of events to keep even the most ADD child happy.  Live music,  karoke, and gambling (we played no stakes) around every corner, as well as a main show in the theater which seated about a thousand people at a time.  We didn't go to all of the main shows, but the ones we did attend were worth watching.  Our favorite was a stand up comedy set by a hilarious gentleman whom I had definitely seen on Comedy Central, but whose name I can't recall. The Vegas-style singing and dancing chorus was a big hit with the 70+ set, and I secretly liked it too.

Enjoying some live lounge music and a virgin Miami Vice
on our last day aboard the Carnival Splendor.

By the end of the week Ryan had made friends with the
chef at the 24-Hour Pizza Bar. We visited him at least once a day.

There are definitely worse ways to spend a week! We both agreed that next time we visit Mexico, we'd like to go by ourselves and do some real exploring, without a cruise director pandering to our laziness. But it sure was nice being so spoiled. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Say those words I love to hear.

Vanilla Raspberry Panncotta
(moments before I backhanded it off the table. The
patient waitstaff quickly cleaned it up and replaced it for me.

I'd like to submit that among the most beautiful word combinations in the English language is the phrase "Free Food."

I don't know about you, but the very words give me a rush of joy and hunger, especially when that food is good Italian from Carrabba's. And yes, by Provo standards Carrabba's is "good Italian." It's a national chain, but there isn't any fake antique sporting equipment or music paraphernalia plastered on the walls, so it's pretty much the best you're going to do around here.


They actually serve up some darn tasty, and I'd even say, authentic dishes. And because I signed up for their "Amici Club" a few months ago, they invited us to a preview tasting of their new winter menu. Sweet!


Here's what we had:

Spinach Fonduta with Fontina and Guyere and Olive Oil Toast.

Rigatoni Al Forno with Ricotta and a nice fennely pork sausage

Clockwise:  Chicken Cacciatore, roasted veggies, Mushrooms with Sundried tomatoes and Polenta, Tri-tip skewer.

It was a nice casual dinner served up family-style, and much more than I expected from a complimentary tasting. The chef and the manager both greeted us personally and we had nothing but compliments for them. Surprisingly, the polenta was a highlight of the meal. It was really light and flavorful, compared to the greasy slab of cornmeal it can sometimes be. The steak and pasta were delicious too. Nothing was over-cooked or under-seasoned to the credit of the kitchen.

The manager at our Orem location said they'll be doing this again in the Spring, so maybe go check out the Amici club and if nothing else, you'll get a free appetizer on your next visit (at any location). I signed up about eight months ago and they've only emailed me a handful of times, and one of those was an invitation to a free meal. Can't complain.

Ryan enjoying his favorite beverage. (Coke zero, not wine)

This guy sitting next to us wasn't nearly as creepy this picture would suggest.